Esoteric Liberica

Well it has been a month since we met. We communicate with each other so much I would not be surprised if the amount could actually equate 3 months or more of communication for some other people.

Well I wouldn’t say that everything is moving along at a casual pace. In fact, I must admit we’re moving faster than normal. The feeling is incredible, jocular, spirited and scary at the same time. I have never felt so much in awe with another person and neither have I felt so strongly in love. Every thing just falls into the right places at the right time. We both can practically anticipate what the other would want or is thinking.

The coincidences, similarities and anticipation to each other’s thoughts are mind boggling. I feel as if I have known her for years and meeting her now is like meeting again after being separated for a long of time. There is so much familiarity and I feel secure with her.

On the downside, I think we are both nervous about the pace and the way things are going. It is happening really fast. We will stick to the rules and not go hog-wild or crazy.

I guess we both face similar demons from our past and this has made us somewhat more cautious. The only way to ensure that this will work is to take everything one step at a time, let time guide us and pace us along. Let things happen naturally rather than to force a situation to go a certain way.

I believe that all of us do have our instincts that will more or less sound alarm bells if something does go wrong and we can probably tell when it is the right time to progress to the next level or stay where we are.

It’s Day 3 and I am feeling as cranky as hell. Aerosmith is now on my playlist and I am blasting it out loud at my workplace, I hope the music doesn’t scare the customers away.

The craving is getting to me. I need a fix. I even considered pulling out grass and rolling it light to light up. Ok so I am exaggerating a bit but you get the idea what the craving is doing to me. So, I am just going to occupy myself with whatever and not even think about it.

I guess going public is indeed a good idea. There is no turning back. I need to stick to this or a lot of people are going to give me hell. After all it is for my own good and the support I have been receiving shows that people do care about my well being.

11 more days to go before the craving ends….

Today marks my second day to be nicotine free. And I can say that it is not easy. Considering that I am surrounded by persistent phone ringing and pounding from the construction site opposite my workplace.

I am feeling very edgy and cranky today. Hopefully by the end of the week I won’t get the urge to kill somebody. I am determined to beat this. Hands are a little shaky now but am sure it is just the after effects of nicotine deprivation. Hopefully I won’t get the urge to binge on food.

On another note, today marks the first month of me getting to know her. I know it may sound a little insignificant to most of you but hey, it is a new relationship and a good one too.

(Mush Alert – Highlight to read if you want to)
Every waking day, I am grateful to have met her. She has rocked my world like no other. No it’s not about anything sexual or whatever. For the first time in a long time, I feel that I have finally found the one. I will take this relationship nice and slow and let it develop naturally. No rushing. Here’s the deal, when we first met it was purely conversational. I wasn’t even attracted to her in any physical way. I just thought that she was a very interesting person to converse with. But as the days went by, she kinda grew on me and towards the last two weeks I realized how much I am in love with her. Not your typical schoolboy crush mind you. And in my forty plus years on this planet I do know the difference!